The painful irony: Others may be treating you poorly because you’ve unknowingly given them reason to.
Consider this common chain of events:
Person A says or does something that offends, hurts, or confuses Person B.
Typically, Person A:
- Doesn’t realize they caused harm, or
- Was simply having a bad day, or
- In rare cases, didn’t care.
Person B, like most people, wrongly attributes Person A’s actions to sinister motives:
- “They’re a bad person.”
- “They’re selfish.”
- “They can’t be trusted.”
Because of the above thinking, Person B responds with behaviors below their own ethical standards:
- Withdrawing and shutting down, or
- Attacking Person A, either publicly or behind their back.
Which brings us to the tragedy:
Witnessing this reaction, Person A concludes that this person isn’t worth my best effort.
The reminder: Your words and behaviors inform others how to treat you.
Your grace and integrity toward your values will always distinguish you.
P.S. You are always someone’s “Person A”.