“I don’t trust you” can be code for “I don’t like you.”
Do you have to like someone to trust them?
For the unconscious mind, there are a lot of reasons not to like another person, including:
- They don’t make the decisions you would,
- Their style is obnoxious (read: their style is different than yours),
- They don’t look or sound like you.
If colleagues must like each other before they trust one another…your team is at risk of making a tragic mistake: You may never trust each other.
(Noteworthy: It’s common for professionals to hide behind “lack of trust” as an excuse for poor performance. Yet, who is responsible for creating trust?)
The conscious mind is intentional at choosing what it thinks and believes.
Avoid the tragic trust mistake by asking your team these five questions:
- What’s the relationship between trusting and liking one another?
- Can you experience one without the other?
- In cases where there is low trust: Is there any chance we’ve mistakenly interpreted the actions, motives or decisions of others?
- What does it look like for colleagues to have diverse styles or ways of seeing the world—and still trust one another?
- When experiencing low trust, what does it look like to be a victim vs accountable for strengthening trust?
Building trust with others always begins by being honest with yourself. Be a conscious colleague.
Problem solving and making better decisions requires operating from a shared reality.
