The markers were going.
Ideas flying faster than anyone could write them. Someone finished my sentence, and it was exactly what I had in mind. The whiteboard was covered. We left the room buzzing and excited about the project and about our team.
A few weeks later, the project was at risk of not being completed.
Deliverables came back slightly off. Conversations got shorter. The energy that filled that room had evaporated. It was strange to go from that level of excitement to now wondering where and when everything went wrong.
But the truth was clear. We were never aligned. We just felt aligned. And those are not the same thing.
We confused energy for agreement. Nodding for understanding.
What we didn’t realize is this: alignment isn’t a feeling… it’s a structure.
What was actually in that room was ten people, each carrying their own version of the project in their head. Nobody lied. Everyone was genuinely excited. But excitement is not a contract. The whiteboard captured what we said. It didn’t capture what we each meant.
And that gap, which is invisible and unspoken, is where projects go to die.
I’ve started to notice the signs now: when decisions happen too fast… when nobody pushes back… when there’s no friction, no one asking, “Wait, what do you mean by that?”
That’s not a great meeting. That’s your warning.
The best meetings I’ve been in since have been slower. Uncomfortable in places. They don’t feel as good but real decisions are being made.
What I’ve learned is this: sometimes the meeting we should be most wary of isn’t the one where things go wrong, but the one where everything feels right.
Next meeting, ask one more question, even if it causes some tension in the room. Aim to figure out if your team has a shared reality.